thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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