i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
