omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
