shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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