"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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