why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
