I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
