did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
