You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
