but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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