I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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