no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
