Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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