This is not my ceiling
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
