There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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