I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
