home. puking in laundry basket.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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