We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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