Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize