i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
