Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
