THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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