I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
