people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
