we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize