After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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