24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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