how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
