i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
