You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
