Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
