i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
