I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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