And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
