Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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