do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
