dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
