from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's never too late to be topless.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
