I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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