Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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