I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As shirtless as possible
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Randomize
