whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
