Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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