I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
