OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
