"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
