She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
