This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
