Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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