I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
