I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
