Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
