I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
