I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
