i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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