Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize