dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
