I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
