i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
