No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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