If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Couch. On fire.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
