We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize