Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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