Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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