She is in my trunk
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
