I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
