So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
