He kissed a someone with a penis
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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