My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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