remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
