Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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