TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
