I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
