Small penises have feelings too.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Randomize
